No, this isn’t going to be some political or environmental rant. I am talking about my over-taxed and running rampant brain. Shut It Down! NOW!!

I made a silly mistake of checking out the new apps available on my Blackberry Playbook after the roll out of the new 2.0 OS. There’s an amazing array, for those who care, but many are two-bit pieces of junk allied to Android.

Back to the matter at hand. I was up ’til almost 4 in the morning, checking and reading and downloading. Damn! And what I had planned to do was simply check the emails and toddle off to bed. No such luck, there. I did hit the hay at a wee bit past 4. It is now 5:45. What happened, you ask? OK, so you didn’t ask, but I’ll tell ya anyway…

My mind decided to go on one of its many trips thru memory lane. This time it decided to review episodes from my Winnipeg years, the weed time, age 16 to 18. It had me recalling all the bad and the odd good times I went thru during that smoke fueled era. From getting busted for pot possession, which was upgraded to “with intent to sell”, and finally put back to simple possession; to the very few women I had involvement during those unsure and immature years; to that single job I held over that time; to the two or three friends I had; to my diagnosis of insulin dependent diabetes melitus (now called Type 1 diabetes); to… well, I think I pretty well covered the entire two years in a short hour and a half.

An astounding thing when I think of it, how my brain could review so many different aspects of the period, and then try its damnedest to shuffle thru as many alternate maybe coulda shoulda woulda scenarios as possible. All I wanted was to go to sleep. But, no-o-o-o-o……

I tried my usual meditation music. In fact, I went thru 3 different CDs, with no luck. I tried to bring my thoughts out of the deep past and at least get it to something more recent, like The Cottage. I stifled that one as The Cottage comes with its own myriad of memories, most pretty good, tho’. I tried to steer those fucking thoughts to other things, but my head just wanted to blow everything out of proportion.

My cat was getting rather pissed at me for my tossing and turning and the odd curse word, so I decided that maybe I should drag my sorry ass (and dumb-ass brain) out of bed and blog the fuck out this old, but familiar, insanity of mine. To think that I was doing so well in pulling away from the utterly psychotic mental meanderings I’ve been experiencing for the past few months, only to fall prey to an old nemesis of mine… memories. I blogged about it here. And here. Right, and here. I also wrote about it…. well, yeah, I wrote about this mind racing shit many a-time. Just do a search of my blog using the term “sleep”. There’s a lot there and many deal with this very same thing I face right now.

Hokay fine, eh. It’s almost 6:30 now. I did my emails, did my daily online shot at Tims R-r-r-r-oll Up The Rim contest, read some old blog entries, and blathered on here. The good thing of it all is that I am no longer stuck in the mid-seventies. Disco SUX!! I am comfortably numb, but only because I am participating in inanity. Speaking of which, the numb part, the olden daze would have seen me popping, drinking, shooting, smoking, snorting whatever I could get my grubby hands on to end this kind of shit. I just realized, once again, that I must be getting better, eh. The thought of getting high never entered my mental hijinx the entire time! All I gotta learn to do now is to find a shut off valve for the Memories.