I mentioned that 2 of my kidlins were at the celebration last night. My youngest, Amber, popped off this poem to me. I read it around 1:30 this morning and immediately thought of posting it here. Fortunately, I kept in mind that I was going to visit my friend who had the knee surgery today and toddled off to bed instead. But, it’s a new day, so here is the poem:

~~~~~~~~~~
I remember when I was little, and you held me so dear,
On the sofa we’d lay, you chose to clutch me, over a beer.

I recall being tall as ever, on your shoulders, atop the world,
It was no longer burdens on those shoulders, just your little girl.

When Mom was no longer around, you learned to comb my hair,
One painful knot at a time, worth every moment we’d share.

I recall getting older, and yet still lingered by your side,
Your presence was my refuge, your existence was my pride.

I cherish you, my dear father, you are my saving grace,
I covet every moment with you, your strength is my embrace.

I could never thank you enough for being the most ideal Dad,
And can irrefutably thank you infinitely for realizing what you had.

Three vigorous children later, and eons of being clean in strive,
You got clean, stayed clean, but most of all, stayed alive.

Thank you for taking the steps, so crucial to exist,
For living for you, and your kids; now look at all that you HAVEN’T missed.

I love you Dad, and thank you for keeping the faith.

It’s moments like this that make me happy you got clean, stayed clean, and stayed alive. Memory in the making
~~~~~~~~~~

I tell you, as tired as I was when I first read that, the eyes weren’t so pooped that I got tears in them. Hey, to even mention my age-old ritual of Keep The Faith, well, yeah, I guess I done good, eh. Now, I just need to get her out fishing with me so’s that gets a mention! hehe…

Keep The Faith*

.. Something like this appears:

Dearest Pappa!

I was just going through your Blogg. Some of that stuff frightened me just a tad, and it was a slight ‘incentive’ for me to say some thing I don’t say often enough, something that I think needs to be said more often towards you and that is….I love you. I won’t call you irrational for saying what you did in your blogg (profanity and all lol), it is your escape from reality….via cyberspace. Just always remember this line when you are perceiving your life as a ticking time-bomb:
KEEP THE FAITH…you tell everyone at the end of every log and e-mail, so now I will turn the tables my dear father, and tell you the very same thing; keep the faith. I need you to stay strong for me, because you are what keeps me living and breathing aside from my own-set morals…but even more so; stay strong for YOU. You are my daddy, I will always love you with ALL my heart. I value every breathing moment by your side. I value sitting with you watching TLC and laughing. I value standing in the kitchen talking about the news and just life in general. I value our summer drives to the river to eat our ice cream and talk. I value YOU, part and parcel; you’re smile (or lack there of lol), your content nature, your STRENGTH, your intellectual ways, and your undaunted means of fatherhood. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. I love you, unconditionally, and forever. :o )

Love always,

Amber S

.. That’s my youngest daughter, age 19, telling me exactly what I needed to hear, via email. T’was the same when I went to a celebration last nite and the speaker (a young fellow age 23) told me exactly what I needed to hear.
.. I really must be doing something right in this world to have my child tell me something like that. No matter that it came thru email, it’s the words, and the feeling that lies behind those words. I sometimes feel like I have nothing to offer, that I don’t deserve the love that comes my way. And then God shows me the error of my thinking.

.. All I wanted to do here with this web stuff, bloggs, and bboards, was to reach out to someone, to touch them with who I am. Well, even if it was just my daughter (and my son, who also read the bloggs and sent an email about one of ‘em), I guess it worked.
.. I really was looking to see if the world out there gave a shit about what I did here, but it doesn’t. The thing is is that my effort did pay off. It did what I had hoped and it did so in an unexpected place and person. Sometimes, I guess, I forget about those truly closest to me. My kids, my blood family. My NA family is extensive & caring, but my children are my LIFE. They give me a lot of hope in this world when I’m dragging my spiritual self thru the muck.

.. See the quote Amber did at the end of her email? The Serenity Prayer? Amazing, isn’t it? Recovery doesn’t just touch me and my fellow addicts. It touches everyone around me. But only if I keep doing all that needs doing.
.. Amazing.

Keep The Faith*

© 2012 Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha