.. You get the picture. Listen to people talk and search for the ever-present yahbuts that exist in nature, human nature. On the street, talk radio, politicians (they’re very good at yahbutisms), your family, everywhere you look a yahbut is about to erupt.

.. This blog entry is no exception.
.. Yesterday I spoke of my concern over my internet usage. I talked of my fear to ask someone to be my temp sponsor.
.. Tonite I went to a meeting and was faced with a couple of yahbuts.

.. One being the sponsorship biz. Someone told me tonite of their same concern, based on the fact that a lot of cleantime has passed and, good golly! why do I still get fucked up?? How can I ask someone, anyone, who knows of my time in recovery for help? And what if the newcomer finds out that even with cleantime under one’s belt, it can still get pretty darned hairy out there.
.. Hey, welcome to the real world, Robb, old son. You aren’t alone in feeling the way you do. There are people out there with the same fears. Why? It is because of that little thing called “Life”. Life happens, deal with it, get on with it.
.. So, I said to that same someone, “Yahbut…”. And she shut me up by asking, “What’s the worst that could happen? The person would say No. Then you go ask someone else. Hm?”
.. What’s the worst that could happen? How many times have I been asked, and asked others, that very question. And without fail, the worst ain’t all that bad at all.
.. Poof!! Yahbut number one gets shot down in a hail common sense recovery.

.. The second one was my internet usage. I shared about my blog of yesterday. I spoke of the long hours, the urge to save everyone (even the folks having a tough time at the meeting), my blogging, email, and website maintenance.
.. Hey, and ya know what?? The same person mentioned above gave me some sage advice on that, too. Come to think of it, she was the one who gave me a bit of direction in helping me to revamp my website to what it is today. hmmm…
.. It was suggested to me to pick one thing out of all I do online and make that the only priority I deal with. Let the rest go sit on a shelf for a while.
.. So, I said to that same someone, “Yahbut…”. And she shushed me by saying, “Priorities. That’s the way. You find the one thing that is important to you and stick with that. The rest will still be there later. Hm?”.
.. uhhhh, ok. Journalling is a big part of my recovery, thus this blog. I can still collect oddznendz for the rest of my site, just store it for later use. Limit my online time to, say, one hour max, TOTAL, for the day.
.. Poof!! Yahbut number two gets blown away in another barrage of common sense recovery.

.. That’s why I go to meetings, to help find answers to questions that I’m struggling with. I go to give of myself and to selfishly take from others. And it works, as proven this evening. I tell ya, I DO love recovery!!

.. There was another thing that happened at the meeting, but that is for a later blog. Right now, I feel pretty good. I need to get to bed because I have Laser Zap #3 coming up in the morning and I need to psyche myself up for that. Only 2 more to go!! whew….

Keep The Faith*