I’d really hate for this thing to become a virtual diary. I prefer it to be more of an expression of who Robb is, not what he does. “Dear Diary…” , gee-aww………

.. It’s 0630 and I’ve just said goodbye to my son, who’s off on a new job and a road trip to Sudbury. He’s selling insurance with the potential to make some major bucks. At 21, the lad makes this old boy a wee bit jealous, but I know exactly what I was doing at that age. I’ve got a hard time remembering what I was doing, due to age, time, and the fact that a whole lotta drugs were being funnelled thru my system back then. And it was those drugs that held me back.
.. Thing is, I’m proud as all get out for my son. He was going to school, but this opportunity came up. He examined it, spoke to friends and to me about it, and decided to give it a shot.
.. Rob had to jump thru hoops to get to today. Things like exams galore (4 initial failures, but that was to be expected), and the costs of taking those exams. Having to get a car, where I tell ya, he did well! He went to a used dealer, got financing for a 2000 model Hyundai, got his insurance (and I don’t envy him that!), and zip, he’s on his way! Now I just simplified the hoops he had to navigate to get to this morning, but there was a lot to be done and the fellow did it! Good on him! ……hehe – and that’s MY son! …….

.. Next in line, the laser treatment yesterday. Oooo, baby! That hurt!! Got to my appointment 20 minutes early, to allow for eye drop application. That didn’t happen for almost 1 and a 1/2 hours later. And the zap time didn’t go down until I had been sitting there for nearly TWO and a half hours! erk. yawn.
.. The first eye done was my left. This puppy still has a cataract, and I think that dulled the procedure just a bit. All lites off in the room, look up, zap zap zap!, look left, zap zap zap!, staight ahead, zap zap zap zap zap, etc etc etc. Felt like a nail was being jabbed into my brain with each zap.
.. Well, that was the easy eye. I had a lens replacement 3 weeks ago on the right eye, and that one had a heckuva lot more clarity than the other. So, when the doctor began the Star Wars routine on the rite eye, the nail was changed to a railroad spike. I physically expected my head to be pushed back with each zap! And the resulting headache and nausea??!! ohhhhh, hangovers got nuthin on that!!
.. I brought my fishing specs with me – grey lens, polarized, wrap around, and on a lanyard too! Man, but they were a help to ease the intensity of light, in the hospital itself and outdoors. Thank goodness this old boy’s a fisherman!!
.. I’ve got 3 more runs at this over the next 3 weeks. At least now I know what to expect. And then it’ll be thru. Justa matter of keeping the diabetes under control and I’ll be good for another 30 years or so of life and vision. (ha!! I remember a time when I never thought that I’d live to just see 30 years of age, let alone talk about rolling thru another 30 whilst at the age of 47! ha!!)

So, to continue on with my daily diary………… oops, sorry, I gotta go barf……….

.. I also went to a celebration last night. Good freaking meeting, I tell ya! My eyesight was crap by that time. Couldn’t recognize who was speaking to me even from just a few feet away. I’m danged glad I been around a few JFTs because I could recognize most everyone’s voice when they said “HI!”. Especially from across the room!
.. Anyway, t’was a great celebration. Good clean time, lots of people, excellent recovery!
.. I was asked to do a reading, which I (gasp!) respectfully declined since I couldn’t see for shit, let alone read something (and no, I haven;t got those readings memorized yet!!). I was, however, asked to thank the speaker. And that was a treat!
.. The fellow who spoke was younger than me, spent less time in his active addiction than me, found recovery earlier than me…….., but still talked about the same things that I went thru during my battles, and subsequent surrender!
.. It never ceases to amaze me when I go to meetings (and I’ve been doing that since 1988), I get to hear just what I need to. Whether it’s someone reminding me of who I was, who I am, who I could be, or what I was, what I am, and what I want to be. Amazing!
.. The speaker ended his talk with nice little story, which I shan’t repeat here. Suffice to say that it said a lot in just a few words. He also used a perfect phrase about drugs during his time up there that hit me dead on. What was it?? Well, I asked him after the meeting if I could toss that phrase up onto my website and attribute it to him (1st names only). I always ask permission to do that. He said yes, no problem.
.. It’s those little phrases that people share with me that help me to sometimes keep my recovery simple. They help me to stop from complicating and over-analyzing my recovery, which I love to do! And I like to share them with others by putting them up onto one of my recovery web pages. What’s that? The phrase?? Hey, just like recovery, ya gotta work for it! Go to my site and find it! hehe……

.. Oh, and as a final, I’d stopped at a mall before the meeting and was forced to go to a dollar store to pick up a pair of cheap sunglasses, because my eye’s couldn’t handle the lights there. I’m glad that I did! After the meeting was over, someone flipped on ALL the lites in that small hall, and oh geez! I thought my worst fear’d come true and I was blind! Blinding, searing pain, that just arced rite thru me. eeee-youch! I stumbled to my coat nearby, fumbled out those glasses and felt like hunting down the person who turned the lites on.
.. But, hey, it wasn’t their fault (YES IT WAS!!). No, it wasn’t. Matbe the person hadn’t been to this location before and didn’t know how brite it can get in there when ALL the lites are turned on. I mean, heck, it can be somewhat painful at the best of times there when that happens. The meeting is a candlelite one, and all our eyes are adjusted to semi-darkness. …. but I had a problem, people! Couldn’t you see that??!! Arrrrrggghhh!
sorry, I get carried away at times……….

.. Thus ends the saga. Another day awaits me. Since it’s now 0735, I guess I may as well . . ., well . . ., ummmm . . ., naw, I goin’ back to bed. Heck it ain’t like I gotta go to work or nuttin! I got me a son who’s gonna make a passle of $$$ and take care of his old man during his waning years. Now, where’d I put my cane………….?

Keep The Faith*